feeling so emotional now. I'm lying on bed covering myself in my parent's thick fluffy blanket. I don't feel good at all. not even a single bit. I'm feeling so unaccomplished in life. I miss those days when my alarm goes off at 650am and I'll snooze it twice before getting up to wash up and dress up. I'll never be late for work. usually by 855 I'll be turning on my laptop and waiting for our morning meeting to commence. and by 6pm I'll be all ready to knock off sharp in another 30 mins time already. sigh. well.. gone were such disciplined days. I need routine in my life very badly. I've so fucking much freedom and flexibility in life now and I swear it's really doing me no good. I'm getting so lazy, and I'm only 23. how long more do I've to stay like that? everyone envies the freedom of what I'm doing now, trust me when I say it's really nothing fun at all. imagine how would you feel when all your best friends are busy at work and here you're loitering somewhere? it just makes me feel utterly useless. that's for me, I'm not sure about how others feel about being so free. using the "official" hours I work a month, and the amount of money I earned, it seems almost too unrealistic. everyone will go "wow so good?! why you still so down about it!" right you're not me, you won't understand. sighhhhhhhhh I'm so extremely helpless now! :"(